One of the hardest components of writing fiction is to figure out exactly how much detail to put into a scene.

You are watching: Exploding the moment in writing examples

Too much, and your leader gets bored and starts skimming until they acquire to the action-y parts.

Too little, and also your leader can’t adequately picture what’s going on. You gotta be Goldilocks and get the “just right.”

But how do you execute that?

The vital is to embed descriptive details into the action and the narrative. You don’t want to protect against all activity while your key character notes the setting and their feelings.

I’ve found that the vast bulk of writers I’ve worked with over the years battle with adding enough detail rather than also much.

One strategy to uncover parts the you can broaden further is to look because that moments in your story that influence your character in some way but you haven’t really contained that impact.

Look for single sentences that convey a feeling or crucial moment but they nothing go any further 보다 that one sentence. They phone call the leader something but never repaint a snapshot and present it.

For example, you can find a sentence like, “It to be so embarrassing,” or “He shot the to win goal,” wherein you’ve got an essential moment the you could expand.

Highlight that sentence and then increase that moment right into a full paragraph, explode it, (but there is no the grenade or bomb).

Are you wonder how, exactly, to “explode that moment”?

Slow the minute down.

What does her character see? Smell? Taste?How does her character feel about whatever is happening? What have the right to you add so your reader is over there in the minute with you or her character?

Some “Explode a Moment” Examples

Veronica Roth walk a an excellent job “exploding moments” all the method through Divergent. However really, any great author does this. Because that example, as soon as Tris first shoots a gun, she can have written:

“It to be scary shooting a gun for the first time, and also I retained missing. I’m a disastrous shot.”

But Roth doesn’t write that. Instead, she explodes the moment right into a complete paragraph and also writes:

“I press my family from my mind, set my feet shoulder-width apart, and delicately pave both hands about the manage of the gun. It’s heavy and also hard to lift far from mine body, however I want it to it is in as much from my challenge as possible. Ns squeeze the trigger, hesitantly at first and climate harder, cringing away from the gun. The sound hurts my ears and the recoil http://nygoodhealth.com sends out my hand back, towards my nose. I stumble, pressing my hand to the wall behind me for balance. I don’t understand where my bullet went, but I understand its not close to the target. Ns fire again and also again and again, and also none that the bullets come close” (78).

Note the sensory details she consists of such as what the pistol feels like before and also during the shot, and also how that sounds.

She offers these details to present the leader the moment and additionally develop her character’s fear and also hesitation with the entirety process. But when Tris shoots “again and also again” in ~ the end, we know she’s made progress.

Here’s another example from man Green’s The error in our Stars. In this moment, Hazel and also Gus are finishing their dinner in Amsterdam. Environment-friendly starts off v a “telling” statement yet then he expands it.

“We to be both really full, yet dessert–a succulently rich cremeux surrounding by passion fruit–was too great not come at least nibble, so we lingered because that a while end dessert, do the efforts to obtain hungry again. The sun was a toddler insistently refusing to walk to bed: it was past eight thirty and also still light” (167).

He can have quit at “we to be both really full,” yet he doesn’t. He defines it and also even gets some setting in there with a great simile explicate the sun.

We understand that these two young lovers are doing everything they have the right to to expand this lovely dinner since they recognize their time is limited.

Put it in writing

Now it’s your turn. The easiest method to perform this is to find a “telling sentence” in a item that friend wrote and write it at the height of a new page.

Next, close your eyes. Imagine the moment. Broaden it v as much information as you can in her imagination, and also start writing. Capture what you view in her mind’s eye.

Think about the setting and sensory details, the smell, the light, the feelings, the tastes. Imagine that minute in all its richness.

You can only require to add a sentence or 2 or you might find yourself filling increase a half page or more.

The point is no to include tons the descriptive details yet to include enough the your reader deserve to get drawn into the story that lot further and also really called to your characters.

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What strategies do you use to recognize those locations that need much more detail? re-publishing in the comment below.